by Deborah on February 15, 2012
Informed consent is a legal, ethical, and moral standard that is of great importance in divorce. It can be defined as voluntary consent based on a full understanding of all of the information disclosed. What does this mean in divorce? It means that there is a presumption that you know the value of the assets you are keeping or giving away, that you understand the implications of your decisions, and that you understand all of the options available to you and potential outcomes before you make any decisions and sign on the dotted line.
If you want to keep the marital residence, for example, has there been a home inspection to identify any major repairs you will be liable for? Have you performed a title search to see exactly how your home is titled and if there are any unknown liens against your property? Have you spoken to a mortgage broker to see if you will qualify refinance your home loan without your spouse’s income?
What are the different types of alimony? How are they modifiable if I remarry or if my spouse loses his income? What happens to my alimony if my spouse dies? How are the different types of alimony taxed? Are there any carryover losses or other tax benefits that can be shared? Are our retirement plans being divided in a way that avoids penalties and tax consequences? Once you have a clear picture of your assets, the questions that apply to your case can be addressed fully.
Information is power and goes a long way to make sure that the decisions you are making are informed and will really get you what you are hoping for.
by Deborah on January 26, 2012
Empathy in the workplace is gaining more and more attention, and that is a good thing. As a “whole brain” person- 48% left brain and 52% right brain, I know how I respond to life when one side is more engaged than the other. My left brain, for example, takes over when I am crunching numbers. And after an hour or so, my friends can tell what I am doing by the tone of my voice. The other day while reconciling accounts, the phone rang…
“Hello.”
“Oh, you are working.”
“Yes. How are you?”
“I will call you later.”
“What’s up?”
“Never mind. It was not important. You have your work voice.”
I was momentarily frustrated. “Just tell me what you want,” I thought. And there it was. I felt it. I was so disconnected from myself that I was projecting impatience and “bottom line” thinking. I woke up…thank goodness… and gave myself some self-empathy. I do not want to do harm by my tone of voice, so I took a breath and found my balance. I was then able to hear the caller with a compassionate heart.
I remembered this conversation when I read this article this morning. I get it! And I am so glad it is catching on.
Empathy is the key for great leadership. Often conflict comes up between people, between unions and organisations, when you don’t trust the other person or use your power to take advantage of the other person. If a subordinate doesn’t believe that the manager cares about him, he may act out. Managers are expected to create a level plain field where both sides value each other and trust each other. There should be a contribution from both sides to achieve this synergy. However, it is the responsibility of the manager or management to show more maturity and initiate a model of transparency that can win trust in their subordinates. There has to be a structure. It is the responsibility of the management to devise the communication pattern.
To identify issues before they escalate into a big fight, first create a situation wherein all parties can have an honest conversation. Rather than waiting until the last moment, get into a conversation. Keep problems small and don’t let issues build up. Good managers and employees engage in conversations long before there are any problems. Again, to achieve this, there has to be a structure in place. When you have the set-up, the one question that remains is: how honest are you?
