Someone recently said in a meeting, “It’s okay for him to hang up on me if it’s the best he can do, but it’s not okay for him to hang up if he has bad intent towards me.” I was so struck by this statement … my body reared up.
“You made yourself the object of the preposition!” I blurted. Golden grammar goddess was trying to express the pain that I was feeling deep in my gut, and the comment was just as curious to my friend as it was for me. I took a minute and was able to ask, “Where are you in this? If his intention is what you use as a guide, then you will need to perfect your mind reading skills.”
We sat for a minute, and I asked, “How does it feel when someone hangs up on you? Is it really okay…ever?” This prompted a different conversation.
I am curious if others have a reaction as well? And I am curious to know your thoughts… Is it ever okay to hang up on someone (and I do not mean a telemarketer or someone from “Dial M for Murder”).
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My father has a tendency to hang up without saying “bye,” or in some other way indicating in a verbal manner that we have finished our conversation. Even though this behavior isn’t malicious and it isn’t about me, it still causes a little stab. Even when I witness him doing it to another person. I typically say “bye!” after he hangs up.
In my experience with difficult conversations, if I am the one needing to get off the phone, I’ll give the person some warning that I’m going to need to end the conversation. If they persist in talking, I’ll quietly put the phone down.
If someone rudely hangs up on me, the message that I give myself is that their behavior is about them. That’s just where they are. Is there some moral high ground there? Maybe. But it keeps me from getting plugged in and having my day hijacked. That said, if I do choose to plug in, I can always make a phone call so that I can process and move on.
For what that’s worth.
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